Saturday, April 30, 2011

Violently Happy ...

Yes, I realize I've posted two videos in a row. And in the space of two days.

What can I say? Procrastination is hard to upkeep. Fortunately, I am very good at it.

Of course, it helps that I just got a massive influx of people from Denmark visiting this blog. It makes me feel like a real blogger with a nice side of warm bubblies. HOLLA DENMARK!

I've had a creepy obsession with Bjork before and even remixes of Bjork songs. But I really really like this one. Part of it is because its uber trippy and awkward and awesome. But the other part is that it's about being violently happy. Which makes me laugh a tad. I remember one article I read at the being of this year about being happy out of pure spite. Which actually sounds like a good motto. Not that you should be spiteful. It's just that you should be happy in spite of what others say/think/do. Prove to them how awesome you really are. Show them that they cannot take the thing that makes you, you. And you are special. There will never be another you. (I really don't think the world could handle that much epic coolness) 

Never forget to be awesome.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Creeping on Lykke Li, no big deal

So ...

I don't have much to say. Because of SUPER FUN STRESS. I AM TOTALLY NOT FREAKING OUT. NOT AT ALL.

I WANT THIS. For reals. This is the most awesome bookmark ever. In the history of the world.

To keep my mind from ... you know, not freaking out, I've been creeping on tumblr. Like ALL DAY ERRYDAY.

Hahahaha ... that phrase makes me laugh. Not normal laugh though. More like the laugh that screams "I'm-so-tired-and-stressed-that-I-may-have-just-forgotten-my-own-name"


Also, I found this wonderful awesome hilarious singer. Her name is Lykke Li. I know, you can tell by just her name that she is epic. Or hipster. Or foreign. Whichever one, it's all good. Because she is all three.

I could post every single video I've watched of hers, because they are all that good. But I'll just let you find her epic-ness on your own.

I will leave you with the very first one I saw that made me nerdgasim in delight.

Wait, I just heard that her music was used on Glee. (cue small shrieks of fangirl excitement -- about Lykke Li, not about Glee. Though I do suppose I like Glee the majority of the time.) So now you HAVE to find more of her stuff. It's basically mandatory.

What are you still doing here? YOUTUBE PEOPLE.

Happy hunting, mis compadres.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I am going to die. And it isn't even Francine's fault this time.

Are you all out there plotting against me? I'm pretty sure you are...

So, this feeling of paranoia isn't just coming out of the blue. I mean, I have random feelings of paranoia and conspiracy theories on a daily basis, but thats just the government implanting these thoughts in me. For reals.

Also, Paul McCartney is dead.

Anyways, I had another terrible driving experience today. I'm positive that this is the universe telling me that I should never drive, ever, but I could be wrong. It could be all of YOU out there. Btdubbs, I blame a world-wide conspiracy to secretly kill me. Except its not a secret anymore. SO SUCK IT.


(which is the derivative of the original function .... btdubbs)

(don't judge ... my brain is literally vomiting calculus right now. I give much sorryz)

SO ... I was driving on this narrow road when I see a giant tow truck parked in the lane I'm driving in. Not driving, not stopped, PARKED. IT WAS OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. Am I the only one to see a problem with this? Because obviously he didn't. And the people on the other side of the road didn't. I WAS THE ONLY ONE INVOLVED IN THAT WHOLE THANG TO HAVE AN ISSUE.

Ahem, sorry for the yelling. I just get angry when people decide that the road is now a parking lot because they have decreed it so. With the magic wand of "I hate every other driver."

Anyways, (and I realize that I use that word a ton) the cars in front of me simply pulled around this .... man (very loose interpretation of the word) and continued to drive. I, however, stopped. Why? Because there were two cars coming opposite me and I decided, "Hey, maybe I should let these cars pass me before I pull into THEIR lane, drive into upcoming traffic to pull around someone who decided they were too good to pull into a driveway."

That, apparentely, was the wrong answer.

Because, as I was waiting, this ... man ... started waving at me to go. Again. And again. And again. Obviously, because he decided that lane was for parking, I was supposed to know that the other lane had become mine to drive on. I was not told of this change. I assumed that waiting until these cars passed would be better than driving head on into traffic.

wrong wrong wrong wrong

This is also where things got a tad bit sketchy. I was driving with my loud gangster music playing and I may have forgotten that my window was open. And just so you all know, making angry hand motions and complaining loudly doesn't go over well with a "look at me, I drive a pick-up!" person. Just so you all don't try this ... because the person stated above may also be doing the same things. Except way more violently. Emphasis on the violent.


And guess what? Right after I pass him, he realizes, "OH! I'm in the middle of the road! Maybe I should drive!" So he started driving behind me. Cue small heart attack.

Also, relating to this, I've also decided that the entire driving world is against me and have banded against me.

Everyone apparently decided that "Hey, let's NOT let her turn. EVER." Because me waiting to turn at a light, with my blinker on, waiting to turn left after everyone else had already passed, was not acceptable. Every other driver must have some sort of alert blinker on their dashboard that tells them when I'm trying to do ANYTHING while I'm driving. Because as I'm about to turn, this car speeds into the intersection and blocks me. So I wait. And while I'm waiting, 17 other cars come and don't let me turn. And this green light is exactly 2.4 seconds long.

Cue me in the awkward car, stuck in the middle of the intersection.


Also, cue some random dude in a creeper car with way too many air fresheners for his own good entering the scene. Imagine him pulling within a literal inch of my car (not even kidding) to yell at me. While I'm freaking out and trying to figure out what to do. Also, imagine him with flashing lights on the front of his car. BUT, he isn't a cop. No way.  Just some angry old man who likes to yell at flipping out ginges trying to turn and then give them heart palpitations.

Which was SUPER helpful when the angry man in the pick-up truck drove after me literally four minutes later.

I really get the feeling that I shouldn't drive. Ever.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Public Transportation Chronicles, part one

Is there a drug called "Ice Tea" interweb people?

Wait, let me explain. I am not trying to become a drug dealer, or even break into the drug scene. (By the way, whenever I hear the words "drug scene," I always think of some dramatic play with actual drugs playing characters. Yes, I know I have issues.)

But this particular term confused the heck out of me. Which either says that I'm really naive and need to stop hiding in my basement all the time. Which I totally don't do. Anymore. Or that it's not actually a drug. Which would make me really dumb and this post unneeded.

(Actually I don't. My basement creeps me out after a while. Which must mean that it's REALLY weird, because I'm an epic creeper.)

(And yes, I understand. Is this post ever needed? Cue metaphyscial soul searching. And creepy music. Because creepy music ALWAYS plays during a good ole fashioned soul search. Don't worry post, I love you.)

But anyways, I'm asking because I overheard a super awkward conversation about Ice Tea on the bus a few years ago. (hence the whole "public transportation chronicles" thing ... believe it or not, I actually have had several encounters on various public venues .... shocking, I know.)

Cue me, a naive midget-girl with a red fro. Innocently whistling (I'm assuming) and snapping along with the bird calls around her. (okay no, I wasn't. I can't snap. DON'T JUDGE ME.) So there I was, just sitting there, minding my own beeswax when a certain snippet catches my ear.


It was then followed with an in-depth discussion on the merits of certain flavors of Ice Tea. They even had an argument over the best type (one said lemon, the other said raspberry .... which is the most confusing, because who would choose lemon over raspberry? FOR REALS.)

Not sketchy at all, right? Now enter into the picture the fact that they were high school senior-aged boys who were heavy into the "skater" scene. As far as I know, skaters don't go around talking about their favorite mixed drink. But I could be a horrible, judgemental person and be totally wrong.

So enter you, my blog readers. Though I know many (all) of you are either silently judging me, or laughing at my naivity (it's okay, you can do both, I would) ... what is ice tea?

Saturday, April 2, 2011

"Request help from Ninja Turtles"

I is a bad blogger.

I haven't updated in like 14,876 years, but I really couldn't think of anything to say. (Which is totally different from usual, I know. *cue sarcasim) So I promise I'll have an actual post soon. But in the meantime, I have been creeping around tumblr.

Maybe creeping isn't the best word. Addicted sounds a tad bit better. This one tumblr ... "ilovecharts" is literally my life right now. And they just reblogged this chart from a site called "pleated-jeans."

Is it weird that I am in love with this site because they use a picture of a person with a belt as their hyphen? Because that may or may not be why.

Not going to lie, my favorite part is the "Rub chest sensually."

I've actually just decided. I'm going to post more pictures. Because this one gives me the lolz. Why should I deny much-needed lolz from the public?

^^It's only okay that I used the term "lolz" because there is a z.

Poor Trisquits, always discriminated against.