Rambles of the sleep deprived ...

***Note: I wrote this at 3:30 in the morning one night. Don't judge me. I'm sure it was funny at the time.***

OH EME HEY

I really want to rick roll all up in here, but that wouldn't be very nice. Granted, I would prolly pee my pants and roll on the ground laughing, but thats just me. Or I could be a really mean troll and send you to lemon party. But that would be even too much for me to bear. I've always wondered, why does  an animal have the same name as "to hold up; to support" (according to dictionary.com). Who thought a bear was supportive? Was there a bear pow-wow circle one day where one bear was like, "dooode, I'm really feeling down. I need a hug." And someone saw these and was like, "WOAH. That's so supoortive! We should totes ma goats call that something." And, since they were almost most definatly stoned at the time (because who else would approach a depressed bear besides a druggie?), they were like, "DUDE. Let's call it BEAR!" And all was right with the other druggies.  

And, I promise, I'm just overworked and not sleeping. Totally not wacked out on anything.

Hahahahaha. "wacked out" It's funny because I'm a dorky nerd.

That being said ..... watch this video. It's addictive and will kill any remaining brain cells that you have at 3:30 in the morning.





Also, it turns out this guy has a bazillion of these videos. But I totally didn't watch at least 20 of them and laugh at every. single. one.

Okay, I lied. I did.

Where are you, gender book?

Hey y'all ....
 
(I know, I haven't posted in a while and you were just wondering, How will I get my daily fix of bad writing and awkward quips? Never you fear, I is here.)

Not gunna lie, that last line made me chuckle. It reminds me of a nerdy superhero.

Wait, maybe I should explain the title of this post. When I say "gender book," I don't mean a little book that you write your gender in if you forget.

"Why hello there! I haven't seen you around here before! What's your name?"
"It's ___, and I'm a (checks small book) .... female!"
"Well isn't that special! I'm a ..... male! We should get together sometime!"
"Is that what ... females do with males?"
"I don't know! Check the book!"

Is it bad that I just got really excited over the change in color? Holy flying fruitcakes, I need to get more sleep. I just realized how that might sound to a normal person. Trust me, it was HILARIOUS in my head.

Anyways, my gender book is my agenda book and I want it back. It has run away from me again and I am sad. We have a very complicated relationship. I tell it all the things I do and basically put my life in there, but you know what it decides to do? It decides, "You know what? This girl is nice to me. Lets see how stressed and neurotic she gets when I hide for a few days." Stupid inaminmate objects. Always being mean to me.

I promise, I had more to say. And it might have actually been funny to the normal human beings that (probably don't) read this blog....But after that whole "gender book" thing, I completly forget what I was going to write. Guess you'll just have to tune in next week for the amazing adventures of THE MISSING AGENDA!

Oh my ... don't lock me up. I promise, its just sleep deprivation.

Freewriting + Storytime = AWESOME.

Hello out there?
Hello? Anyone?
So, HA! I managed to post again without a two week span inbetween. I feel so proud of my very small achievement. I also decided to make the blog more sazzy. Whenever someone uses that term, I think of a webpage with jazz hands, dancing in a chorus line, to the song "I Got Rhythm."
Little things make me laugh. :)
Today was pretty gosh-darn epic though. Why? Because I got more than 4 hours of sleep! OH YEAH! Now I feel like the colors are so vivid and clear.
So, if you (and I mean you in the loosest sense of the word, as there is no "you" yet) haven't noticed, I like to freewrite. So whatever I is zinking, I is writing. And so, I was zinking, I must share with you all (which is prolly just me) a few of my fail-stories. I have to say, there are quite a few ....


Story NUMERO UNO.

So, I was an awkward child. And, when I say awkward. I mean people asking, "what is she doing over there?" awkward. For instance, when I was a wee tot, we had some concrete pourers over our house during the summer. And I, thinking I was soooooo smart decided to cover myself in mud, because that is how people keep cool (I know, what was I thinking?). Imagine the poor concrete people's surprise when they show up at this normal looking house, dealing with normal looking adults, to see a small child running around covered in mud, screaming in the backyard.

I'm surprised they didn't leave then.

What makes this worse is that, sadly, that was not the only time I did that. I also discovered as a child that pink chalk does not come off as easily as you would think when you cover your entire body with it. I also learned that other people find it strange when you ride down the street on a children's toy singing at the top of your lungs. Even more so when you are in 8th grade.

So yes, I was an awkward child.