Tuesday, November 30, 2010


Sorry about title (again). Today's actually relates to what I'm talking about soooooo .... there. And guess who is posting AGAIN? (Obviously not this weirdo) FYI - The correct answer was me.

Anyways..... Oh, yeah, GET IN MY BELLY! I feel as though I must explain that. Have any of you (hello out there in wild unknown of cyber space!) ever seen Austin Powers: Goldmember? It's the third movie in the whole Austin Powers trilogy and is THE BEST ONE. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. MUST CALM DOWN.

Sorry, spontaneous nerdgasim. But, as you can tell, I freakin love that movie. And the title of this week's post is in homage to one of my very special friends, Fat Basterd.

Okay, he's not my friend, but I like to pretend he is. And yes, I realize that "Fat Basterd" is not an actual person and is played by Mike Myers. But no, Mike Myers is not my friend, Fat Basterd is. As a matter of fact, so is Austin and Dr. Evil. They join my list of other-people-that-I-don't-actually-know-but-I-creep-on-and-love. Other members of this list are Johnny Deep, Martin Van Buren, Bjork, and many more. But I'm trying not to creep you all out too soon.

BUT ... the reason I thought of Goldmember and had a very messy nerdgasim was because of the songs stuck in my head. Not song, I have songS. And as I was listening to these said songs AGAIN, I keep thinking, "Get out of my head!" And naturally, my train of thought went straight to Goldmember.

So I know that you are all hanging on to every word I type because you just must know what is stuck in my head. Don't worry, I won't torture you any longer. They are:

Cameras by Matt And Kim (click here!)
Whip My Hair by Willow Smith (I know ... I feel like such a tweedlebopper ... BUT IT IS STUCK IN MY HEAD. I CAN'T CONTROL IT!) (click here if you dare)
and basically a medley of Freelance Whales songs (click here!)

And as a side note, the link I posted for Freelance Whales is a live preformance. Even though I LOVE their songs, the stuff they do live brings it to a whole 'nother level of awesome/epic/nerdgasim. So do it. Listen.

In case I don't see you, Good Afternoon! Good Evening! And Good Night!

Monday, November 29, 2010

What is that ... thing?

Hallo out there!

Oh yeah, look at me posting three times in three days. Holla! (I realize that I have no right to say that what so ever, don't judge too much) 

So.... An update on ... you guessed it, the hair. (I promised you didn't I?) I have an especially juicy fail-story to share with you all ... So buckle up and get ready to gooooooooooo! 
Sometimes my own nerdiness disgusts me. Thankfully not now. :)

Anyways.... The year was 1688. A desperate power struggle was occuring within the English Parliament regarding .... oh, wait. Wrong story :P

This particular fail came about into the annuals of history (I think I'm allowed to use that phrase?) almost 3 years ago. That summer, I was going to travel with a group to see Switzerland, and me thinking I was being smart said to myself, "HEY! Let's get the hair cut! We'll be prepared!"


My hair was a little past my shoulders at the time, and was not a beast. We had a good relationship. It was give and take, but we listened to each other. How soon that would change. Imagine this imaginary readers ... I walk into Great Clips all happy-go-lucky. I sit down, all excited. I get up to get my haircut, still excited. I tell the woman, "I want about 2 to 3 inches taken off, and could you relayer my hair?"

Simple, right?

Wrong again.

She told me to put my head down so she could "cut" the back. So tra la la, I'm sitting there happily until she moves my head up to cut the front. At the time, I can't see the back of my head, so I'm not flippin yet. YET. She doesn't really take off that much in the front, but I kinda like it. Kinda. How soon that would change. 

To understand the extent of this story, you must know my hair. My hair is in it's own timezone/zipcode/dimension. It does what it wants, when it wants. For example, if it doesn't want to be straigtened with a straightener, it won't. I've learned not to fight it. The weird part about it is that it wasn't this way for the first few years of my life. We were a team. The beast was also straight-slash-wavy. Then, the no-good-awful-horrible-haircut came into being.

Back to this epic. So, I got up to leave from the haircut when I catch a glimpse of my hair. At first, I'm not flippin out that much, because I was like, "I can WORK this."


I did not know that I would come out of that Great Clips changed forever. I went in with calm, wavy hair and I came out with a nightmare. (Even now as I'm posting this, my hair is getting angrier and angrier.) As soon as the monstrosity that was the modified-boy-femover dried, my hair was pissed. And I mean PISSED. It decided, you know what? Let me do the opposite of whatever that girl wants. I mean, she subjected us to ... this ... thing. So BOOM. A curly, afro-like, boy hair cut was born. And when I said it looked bad on me, I'm not kidding. I went back the next day and another hairdresser fixed my hair for free. She took one look at it and was like, "Honey, come here to the back. Let me see what I can do with this ..."

To be fair, that lady fixed it so it was at least presentable (I promise, hair. You looked semi-decent. Now stop gathering rage.). And it would have looked better on someone who had pin-straight thin hair. So basically, it would have looked good on the opposite of me. Now, the beast is in full swing and is a crazy, kinky, everything-I-don't-want-to-happen-on-my-head mess. Hooray.

So the result of this fail? A few hundred pictures of me in Switzerland with the most wacked out haircut I have EVER seen.

And that is my fail story. Kind of anti-climactic, but I know you'll be able to move on with your life. It's not that much of a bigge.


Sunday, November 28, 2010

Will I Be Pretty?

I originally posted this a little while ago, but adjusted it because I figured out how to embed the actual video in the post (don't judge me, I'm quite dumb :P ) Enjoy! (again)

This is one of the most powerful messages I've seen lately and is definatly something worth watching (or like me, you could just hit "replay" over and over and over ... but hey, whateva).

I found this on the GoodMom/BadMom Blog.

(watch out for the language -- a bit NSFW)

For the transciption of this click here at Diana's Many Lifetimes.

Click here for GoodMom/Badmom.

OHHH! Look at me posting twice in two days! What up now! :)
(my pretend sass makes me smile)


Dearest invisible readers,

I know. Stop judging me, I know I haven't posted in like two million years, but I've had a lot going on. DAMN YOU LIFE! I also know that you are currently judging me for that title. My only defense is that it is late, and in my mind, it made a lot more sense. I was picturing a race car engine or something reving up? Or maybe a cheer? Like, give me and R! Give me an A! Give me a N! Give me a T! What does that spell? RANT! YAY! But, so I don't get too off topic (and possibly scare away my non-existant readers) I should prolly start this aforementioned rant. And so, I have a few updates:

First off, pulling all-nighters (or almost all-nighters) is not as much fun as you think it is. Trust me.

Numero dos, being short is not fun.

And lastly, I got my hair cut.

I shall start from the beginning and begin from the start.

So, all nighters. THEY SUCK. Even though technically, I got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. It didn't feel like it at all. I was literally so tired that I wasn't tired. Except, when I looked at my own handwriting. Usually my handwriting is kinda loopy and awkward, but when I get tired, it starts to look like a serial killer's notes. I was sitting in class, and I looked down and I was like "CALL THE AUTHORITIES. HIDE YO KIDS. HIDE YO WIFE." Then, someone just apologized for something they did to me that day and I had no idea what they were talking about. Appartnely, I sat there with someone yelling at me and I have no memory of that occurrence. So that lead to an awkward apology. :P

So, on to my next topic in this rant. Being SHORT.

For those of you that don't know, being short sucks. Not even kidding. It's not even the being short that sucks, its the finding clothes for being short. TERRIBLE. You'd think that once in the last 20 years that someone, somewhere would say, "HEY. There is a whole demographic that don't have clothes. Maybe I should fix that." But, NO. No one has ever thought that. FOR REALS.

So, continuing .....
I have finally succeeded in finding pants for my short-ness. It only took 2342134 years, but you know, I've got to start somewhere. It's ....... OLD NAVY! I know, disbelief is setting in, but I love this store. Hmmmm, love is actually a strong term. I like how they make short-people-pants, but I hate how expensive they are. The only time I go in there is when they have a super-duper-uber-epicly-awesome sale. But, the other thing I love is their awesome clearance rack. I have seriously found the most epic stuff there for under $10. Like a super-duper jean jacket. Or a flippin awesome neon shirt. (Basically a lot of neon that normal people say "WTF. Who would wear this?" I am that person.)

But anyways .... MY HAIR.

I got it cut recently, but I don't know if I like it. To tell the truth, I don't know if my hair is happy with it, and since my hair is my hair, I need its input on the overall "I like this" effect. To start off, my hair has a huge personality. (Which is usually a nice way of saying "wow, what a bitch," I know, but trust me. It does.) When it gets angry, you know. Which is why I'm a bit afraid. Whenever I get my hair cut, it usually takes a few days for the fact to sink into my hair and for it to register it's outrage. This was especially true with my disaster-boy-femover-haircut, but I'll leave that for another time. For now, just be satisfied with the fact that somewhere, my hair is silently gathering rage.

Over and out.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Rants and Raisins

As a heads up, sorry about the title. I was trying to be clever and tie together baking and my complaining but it didn't work. So, yeah.

Anyways ...

I HATE HATE HATE people who don't carry anything to class. Like WHAT ARE THEY DOING? They don't even carry a single notebook! What?!? WHAT?!? For real! Meanwhile, I'm carrying the contents of my entire house in with me and they have a pencil. A pencil! And sometimes they don't even have a pencil. What were they thinking they would need? Are they going to write in blood? Because thats all I can see that they could use. Another thing that annoys me ... people who forget their backpacks on the bus/class/everywhere. While I understand one time, but ALL THE FREAKING TIME? I mean, you brought it on, don't you think you'll kinda need it? Or that you walked in with it, obviously you need something in there. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

People annoy me.

But, I need to stop ranting. I could go on, but my invisable readers are saying "come ON. We get it. Oh my ..... "

SO, a good thing happened to me today. I tried a Nutella cookie. What?! I know, I just blew your mind. IT WAS SO GOOD. Here is the recipe. So yeah ..... I like to cook, although I am not that good at it. Mostly, I make little things, no real food for me :). BUT .... I have to tell you (hello, anyone out there?) some of the most delicious brownies ever. Are you readyyyyyyy?
Smores Brownies
sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good.
But anyways, I made cornbread the other day. Three different types too. I made cornbread muffins with strawberry jelly filling, cornbread muffins with a honey glaze, and plain cornbread muffins. Can you tell I love cornbread? And even though a CERTAIN person told me that they taste like linoleum (the fact that he knows that taste is a little weird), THEY ARE DELICIOUS. I'm a starch girl. I love me some cookies, but give me some breadsticks any day of the week.  I have to say, I would l kill someone (don't worry, not anyone you know invisible readers) for some good bread or potatoes (involuntary drool, sorry).
But the best unexpected food that I've ever made is Sweet Potato Fries. At first, I was a little grossed out because I am not a sweet potato fan. But you "marinate" the fries in orange juice and ginger and it is DELICIOUS. You can eat them plain, but add a little ketchup and an involuntary foodgasim occurs. TRY IT! (here)
But I am excited for the holidays because I'll have an excuse to cook all my delicious-ness and people won't judge me (at least more than usual). Like a Yule Log, Sourbraten, and Sweet Potatoes. Not that those foods clash or anything. I AM SO EXCITED.

So if you haven't noticed, I love to write in capitals. But just so you invisible readers know, I'm not yelling intensely as I type this. I just wanted you all to know so I don't look like that much of a creep. Sometimes when I read capitals my internal voice yells whatever I'm reading. So that's why whenever I'm yelling, I will tell you, my faithful invisible readers. Or I'll make the font bigger like this.
I'm a Banana! I'm a Banana! I'm a Banana! LOOK AT ME MOVE!
I'm sorry reader(s) .... I had to.

p.s. Anyone who can quote some of my obscure references that I type about (i.e. "I'm a Banana") gets official nerd points. Have fun!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Freewriting + Storytime = AWESOME.

Hello out there?
Hello? Anyone?
So, HA! I managed to post again without a two week span inbetween. I feel so proud of my very small achievement. I also decided to make the blog more sazzy. Whenever someone uses that term, I think of a webpage with jazz hands, dancing in a chorus line, to the song "I Got Rhythm."
Little things make me laugh. :)
Today was pretty gosh-darn epic though. Why? Because I got more than 4 hours of sleep! OH YEAH! Now I feel like the colors are so vivid and clear.
So, if you (and I mean you in the loosest sense of the word, as there is no "you" yet) haven't noticed, I like to freewrite. So whatever I is zinking, I is writing. And so, I was zinking, I must share with you all (which is prolly just me) a few of my fail-stories. I have to say, there are quite a few ....


So, I was an awkward child. And, when I say awkward. I mean people asking, "what is she doing over there?" awkward. For instance, when I was a wee tot, we had some concrete pourers over our house during the summer. And I, thinking I was soooooo smart decided to cover myself in mud, because that is how people keep cool (I know, what was I thinking?). Imagine the poor concrete people's surprise when they show up at this normal looking house, dealing with normal looking adults, to see a small child running around covered in mud, screaming in the backyard.

I'm surprised they didn't leave then.

What makes this worse is that, sadly, that was not the only time I did that. I also discovered as a child that pink chalk does not come off as easily as you would think when you cover your entire body with it. I also learned that other people find it strange when you ride down the street on a children's toy singing at the top of your lungs. Even more so when you are in 8th grade.

So yes, I was an awkward child.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Hello all you "readers"

So, I've been meaning to start this blog for a while, but I never got around to it. Now, however, I have ample time for procrastination so .... its blog time! I know that I'll intially have a readership of about 1 1/2 (the one being me, and the half being me pretending not to be me) ... so hello out there! (I can imagine a single person reading through this post quickly waving at the screen and going, "What the hell?" Thank you!) So anyways, about me:

I am a magical being from the land of Waasdifuadsflkdsjldsa. (the Waasdifuadsflkdsjldsa is silent)
I am older than time.
I am nerdier than prolly most people you know, and have nerdgasims often.
I cannot spell. Certain words I do not attempt to spell, so you all can quietly judge me from the safety of your computers.

So yeah, I will add to this list when I have time. Hopefully I will start posting at least once a week, but I hope to make it three times a week.

Oh, and I like purple. :)